Mungu Akipenda

The title means, "if God wishes." It is a common phrase used here in Tanzania . . . you could say it is used almost too often. Tanzanians are very religious . .. in my small village alone there are many churches- Roman Catholic, Lutheran, Tanzanian Assembly of God, Evangelists Assembly of God, Seventh Day Adventists, The Church of Higher Divine Gospel?! Yes, they all exist here . .. there is a strong Muslim influence as well, but mostly in coastal regions and not found in my village. (though we still recognize Muslim holidays such as Idi) The problem with the phrase mungu akipenda, is that the people here put so much responsibility into the hands of God and God's will, that you wonder how much it starts to impede on their own independent responsibility. Even if you say, "I will meet you tomorrow at 3:00," they will say, Mungu Akipenda. Then . .. they do indeed show up the next day, but in Tanzanian time, two to three hours late ;)
It's funny, in the states i was known to be slow, patient, and infamously late to Everything! Here, I am considered a speed demon who doesn't like to be inefficient, I get impatient and hasty, and |I'm always early (compared to everyone else.) I'm also one of the few people that own a watch, so that could be another reason for my punctuality . .. but no one is ever in a hurry to get things done. It can be frustrating, when you are trying to get projects done, and people say, okay tomorrow. always tomorrow.
I am learning to adjust to the slow pace of village life . . . but am a little afraid of the reverse culture shock \i will experience upon return to the fast-paced, hectic and frenetic lifestyle of American life. The funny thing is that people refer to Americans as "ones who keep time" . .. time in village life, is just a matter of sun-up to sun-down . . . things happen when they happen.

I have started teaching English to primary school students. A class full of 90-some 5th grade level students crammed into tiny desks. Some share books because they don't have enough. Some can't see the board from where they sit, but they never ask me what i've written. i try to repeat things as much as possible and ask if they understand, and they all say yes because they are afraid to say no. \i ask if they have any questions and nobody raises a hand . .. though i'm sure there are questions out there. Corporal punishment is allowed in schools here, and the students are quiet, obedient, stay put, and dont' say much . .. but out of fear. they dont' understand the lessons in their books, they're far too advanced, but they pretend they do. i quizzed them in class with some true or false questions and they all answered "true" in unison to every question . .. i think you can see the problem in this. The students haven't had an english teacher for a few months as their teacher is away on pregnancy leave, so i'm just picking up where she left off . .. however, I learned quickly that i had to start from basic levels to even attempt to cover the lessons they are supposed to be completing. So, I've taught sentence construction, nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, objects of a prepasition, tenses, etc. I'm trying to remember this grammar myself, as it's been years since i studied this . . .
sure, they can say "goodmorning teacher" and "education ees inspiration" because they have memorized these things.. . they can memorize and spit back out anything you tell them . . . but they don't understand why. i say in english"goodmorning students" and they say "fine thankyou, madaam." . . . so I try to explain that i am not asking how their morning is, just saying goodmorning . .. and the next day . . . again, "fine, thank you madaam." I wrote on the board "prepositional phrases" and they all said together in unison "prepositional phrases". .. because they think that's what they're supposed to do, but they don't know what it means. I just laugh, but it's not funny . .. I hope I can help them actually comprehend what I'm teaching. . . not just chew it up and spit it back out. The truly difficult thing is that their entrance exams into Secondary School are all in English . .. so if they dont' grasp it within the next two years, they many not make it on to continue (if they can afford the school fees anyway.)

I have been continuing to help with baby-weighing, and plan to start a nutrition and health group for mothers and pregnant women starting in November. I am in the midst of planning a village-wide testing for World Aids Day on December 1st . .. just trying to cut through all the red tape of getting the Doctors, Nurses, and equipment from the local hospital to come to our village dispensary. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this event will indeed happen, as I think our village is in need of it. I do have a good number of people that come to our PLWHA meetings, but i have a feeling there are many more who are unaware of their infections, or feel the stigma of the disease preventing them from joining the group.

I have had the unfortunate experience of already losing one of my favorite members of the group. He was a widower, to a wife I believe died from the same disease, and now leaves four children orphaned. One of whom, is a fierce netball player. She is one of my favorite students, and I hope to be able to take her on my Kilimanjaro Climb for orphaned girls which i'm in the midst of planning for next year. It is discouraging and emotionally difficult to lose friends so quickly, though Peace Corps has warned us that it is a problem we will all encounter. You can't help but feel guitly as well that maybe you could have done something to help . .. like maybe if we would have been able to get treatments delivered to the dispensary, he would still be here, but you can't blame yourself for a problem that is so widespread- all you can do is help spread the information and knowledge to prevent the disease from spreading, and help those infected live a fuller, healthier life. The funeral was difficult to attend, but the whole village showed up and they were happy to see me attend. They knew i had respected the man who was always smiling and helpful, and seemed to be making the most of his life. The people here grieve differently . .. only his children were crying. no one else, not even his mother or sister. we sat around in dark rooms, on mats on the floor, staring at our feet a lot, not saying much. We were all silent until some of the Bibis (older women), old enough to still bare the dots and hashmarks of tribal ritual scarification on their cheeks and foreheads, began to wail. They still sat there looking somber, but they wailed in great mourning. It was a moving experience, but very sad and emotional for me. I was glad that the next day, I was able to meet up with a fellow volunteer and watch movies with some German volunteers who have electricity. Though I'm adjusting and beginning to really love my village and its people, sometimes, you need to just get away . .. and crawl back to the comforts of home such as chocolate bars, silly movies, or music from back home.

there were two funerals that week in my village, but there was also a wedding. I was hoping for a traditional, tribal wedding where we all dance around a fire at night, but unfortunately, no such national geographic-type experience was to be had. Instead, they had rented a generator so that the pastor could speak for hours on a microphone, the keyboardist could play the same repetitive casio-beat for five hours straight, and there was one lone electric bulb hanging. . . though it was unnecessary as everyone left before nightfall. The night before, i had been asked to help bake the cake, and i obliged. It was me and four other old women calling me the "cake teacher" and literally raising their hands to ask questions. The funny thing is, it was my first time baking a cake without a conventional oven, so i had no idea what to expect. luckily for my peace corps issue cookbook, i had a recipe for yellow cake and instructions on how to make an oven out of two pots, two lids, some rocks and charcoal . .. and bam! we had ourselves some cake! it was pretty good, too ;) they asked me to help decorate it . .. so i obliged again. they handed me some shiny gift wrap paper and said, "mapambo," decorate. So . . . i cut up some paper snowflakes in shapes of flowers and hearts and butterflies . .. and they sat and stared in complete awe. These women can weave rugs and baskets out of straw and banana leaves, yet they were amazed with my paper snowflakes. But i guess it's not a skill acquired in an area where most people dont' own a pair of scissors . .. and it doesn't snow for that matter, either. I was introduced to the whole congregation at the wedding as the Peace Corps "doctor" . . . and i froze in fright thinking, no, don't tell them i'm a doctor!!! they will start coming to me with all kinds of crazy ailments, expecting to be healed, but luckily no such thing has happened since. whew.
another funny thing about the wedding is that the maid of honor starting breastfeeding her baby in front of the whole church during the service . .. and no one thought anything of it. it didn't surprise me, either, as i've become accustomed to the tanzanian mantra that if you're baby is hungry- you feed it. no matter where you are or what you are doing. hey, it's free food that's nutritious for your baby and you don't have to grow it . .. you have to use the most of it.

Well, i should be getting on with project research instead of typing away at the blog . .. but again, i appreciate your interest in my work here and that you're reading my blog :)

. .. and Happy Halloween!!!